


Games with emotions

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 20:29:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20606834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: Chapter 10 from his point of view





	Games with emotions

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
This fic is basically chapter 10 told from Ethan’s perspective, the dialogue is mostly the same, changes in a few places, plus that thing with the dress… I just couldn’t help myself.   
Enjoy! <3

Ethan never liked to go to those sorts of conventions. He thought of them as a waste of time. Time that he could spend helping his patients. Or sleeping.

But he knew that this time he had to go. He knew that, despite his better judgement, he had to get that treatment from that asshole. He also knew he couldn’t do it himself. He knew that he wouldn’t tell him.

That’s why he needed to bring _her._ Or at least, that’s what he told himself. His mind told him that this was the main and only reason for Claire going with him. But his heart knew better.

The truth was, he couldn’t get her out of his head. She was always there. Lurking in the back of his conscience, tugging on his brain when he had a moment to himself. Hell, she was there even when he _didn’t_ have time.

He couldn’t count the amount of times he would be talking to other people and she would appear right before his eyelids every time he blinked.

He would be talking to Harper, she would do something as simple as tossing her hair behind her shoulder so it didn’t compromise her vision while looking at a file and his mind would wander towards the redhead, her sparkling green eyes, every emotion she was feeling on full display in them.

The second he heard about the convention and he knew that he would get a chance to get the treatment plan, he knew he just had to take her with him.

He tried to tell himself that he didn’t really know why he didn’t say anything to Harper about bringing Claire with him but the truth is, he knew damn well why.

He knew she would stop him. She didn’t trust him the way she did before Rookie appeared in their hospital. She knew something was going on, she just didn’t know what it was yet. He didn’t feel the need to explain himself to her.

Sitting in the chair right beside their gate, waiting for her to get there, he realized what that trip meant for them. What it meant for _him._

They would get some answers about Naveen, yes. But he was also hoping to get some answers from and about her too.

He raised his eyes from his book just in time to see her running in his direction, her cheeks pink from exhaustion.

“Five more seconds and I’d have boarded without you.” he said, looking at her. _Lie,_ his mind whispered to him.

“No, you wouldn’t.” she replied, smirking. _She’s right,_ the voice in his head replied.

“No?”

“I think you’re all talk, Dr. Ramsey.” Her smile was contagious. _She’s not wrong_.

“Oh for goodness’s sake, let’s board already.” He replied, a smile taking over his features.

They were sitting in the plane, talking about the trip and who’s founding it. He was impressed with her mind skills, her ability to see right through the secret intentions of the company that weren’t so secret.

He made a toast and clinked his glass with hers, her laughter ringing through the cabin. He couldn’t exactly say why or how it happened, but he recently noticed that every time she would laugh or smile when he was with her, his whole body would relax instantly. It was almost as if she was a sedative, strong, potent and _addictive_. He knew that he should probably stay away from her or keep his distance, but he couldn’t do it. _He didn’t want to do it._

They landed in Miami a few hours later and were transported to their hotel. He was standing on the pavement, Claire by his side. He let his eyes close, breathe in the scent of the ocean and let the wind ruffle his hair. Last moments before all the madness of the next 24 hours started.

Ethan knew that the moment they step inside the lobby, he’s going to get swarmed with people, taking away any opportunity he had of even remotely enjoying this trip. Turning towards Claire, he said.

“Book us in. Two rooms under Ramsey.” He sent her a pained expression as he was dragged away from her by the representatives of one of the medical companies.

Twenty minutes later, outside the hotel again, he managed to finally free himself, saying that he needs to settle in before the conference began. He spotted Claire near the entrance, her face revealing she’s a little worried about something, biting her lip. _God, what wouldn’t he do to bite that lip._

“Did you book us in?” he asked as he approached her. She shifted her gaze towards him, something flashing in her eyes.

“Yes but… there was an error in the reservation. They booked us in one room.”

“Morons. I called them to change the reservation so it could accommodate one additional person.” He scowled, his brows knitted together. Strangely, the fact that they were going to share the room didn’t bother him. Moreover, he was excited to see what she was like in the privacy of the room, no outside world to interfere with her behavior.

“Well, they must have misunderstood because they booked a couple’s suite. Do you want to change it?” she asked, her voice quiet and calm, but he could feel she was nervous.

“No. Come on, we have work to do.” He said firmly, going inside the hotel.

“We do?” she called out behind him, running to catch up with his long and fast steps.

The conference was packed. Full of innovative technologies and ideas, for sure, but also with people who didn’t care about anyone but themselves.

He turned towards Claire, his face troubled, feeling his anger rising in his chest.

“This is the guy that has the possible solution to Naveen’s condition. We have to get it out of him.”

“So what are we waiting for? Let’s go talk to him!” she said, enthusiasm taking over her face. He put his hand on her arm, giving her a light squeeze, stopping her.

“He won’t talk to me. We have history.”

“Huh?”

“Let’s just say that last time I saw him I punched him in his face.” His cheeks reddened, his eyes moved to hers to gauge her reaction, searching for her emotions.

“Well, he does have a very punchable face.” She smiled a little, a hint of a joke.

“That he does.” He smiled back.

“Not that I think you should have done that.” She continued, her face going back to the neutral expression.

“He deserved it. He’s not a man of his word, only happy and satisfied when he’s gloating.”

“So he won’t tell you.”

“No, he won’t.”

“But he doesn’t know me.”

“Precisely.” He locked his eyes with hers just in time to see her face fall. Her expression revealed her emotions again. 

“Is that why you took me here with you? Am I even a number one intern?” she sounded hurt, taking a step back to separate herself from him. He felt guilty, a shiver of shame running down his back, tiny needles pricking his skin. But she was an exceptional young doctor, she deserved every single praise she got and will get.

“_Of course you are!_ You worked so hard this past week. You being number one was a convenient excuse to take you with me, but even if you weren’t, I’d still find a way to get you here.”

Her shoulders slumped, the corners of her lips turning downwards.

“I’m sorry, Claire. Naveen’s condition is deteriorating and if we don’t find the solution soon we may be too late.” He didn’t like to expose himself like this to anyone, but he didn’t feel strong enough to fight it. With her he could let his guard down a little.

“Okay. I’ll do it. _For you.” _she stared him straight in the eyes.

“For me?” his mouth flew open, shock taking him over.

“Yes. You helped me a lot this last year. In your own way. And you inspired me to become a doctor. So yes, I will help you.” her eyes seemed guarded, her emotions not as visible as they were just a few minutes ago.

“Thank you, Claire. I won’t forget this.” He felt his body relax. _Of course you won’t forget. How could you ever forget that?_

He blended into the crowd, keeping his distance, not giving himself away but keeping an eye on her. She seemed to be doing okay when he saw her face fall and turn towards him, guilt all over her face. Meanwhile, that asshole had the biggest smirk he’s ever seen. He approached them, standing next to Claire.

The conversation wasn’t anything he didn’t expect. Of course Declan would still be sour from their last encounter. That’s just the type of a man he was. He wasn’t able to put aside his pride for a patient.

They came back to their room. He went towards the bathroom, leaving the door slightly open so they could talk through them. Suddenly he realized that he might have forgotten to tell her about the casino night. He called out to inform her about it, knowing he made a mistake.

“Why didn’t you tell me there’s going to be a reception?” he heard her voice coming from their shared bedroom.

“Because that was the furthest thing from my mind at the moment.”

“If you had said something, I would have prepared myself!” her voice was a little nervous.

He turned the water off and put the towel around his waist, walking out of the shower. He looked into the mirror and caught her eyes. _Staring at him._

“Just throw on whatever you brought with you.” he said, keeping his eyes on hers through the mirror. Her cheeks flushed and she turned away towards her suitcase.

He turned the lights off in the bathroom and closed the door behind him, not looking in her direction for a while. When he turned back around, he swore his heart stopped.

“Oh. You, uh, you found _something_.” His voice cracked at the end, betraying him. His eyes trailed slowly over her body, his breathing picking up significantly.

“Yeah, I’m always prepared.” She flashed him a perfect smile, gauging his reaction.

“Lucky for me.” He smiled, forgetting himself for a moment. Seconds later he remembered, though, cleared his throat, embarrassment all over his face. “I mean, lucky for _you._ You look… very… appropriate.” He managed to choke out, trying not to give away the storm of emotions in his mind. “Give me a moment to get dressed.”

He turned away from her again to put his tux on. Suddenly he felt a trail of heat on his back. She was looking at him, taking in his naked form, he realized, his face hot.

Trying to keep himself controlled, he turned around and walked over to her, looking at them both in the mirror.

“I would say we look ready. Don’t you think?” a genuine smile took over his features.

“Absolutely.” He extended his arm towards her and she took it without hesitation, letting him pull her closer to him.

He never though of himself as a gambling man. Always calculating risks, taking the safest route. He was surprised at himself when he stood behind Claire by the poker table and made a deal with Declan.

He wasn’t big on risks. But he had a brain and he knew damn well how to use it. He looked at his cards, realizing he won. There was no chance of him losing this round. But he also knew Declan. He knew what to do.

He lost. On purpose. He admitted defeat, let his opponent gloat. Sure, the deal with the hospital was going to be a disaster, but he gambled it all for a chance to save Naveen. And it worked.

Claire was looking at him with a ghost of a smirk on her lips.

“You won, didn’t you?”

He revealed his cards to her. Perfect score.

“How did you know?” he stood up from his chair, a huge smile on his face.

“You know what kind of man he is. You know he would never tell you what the solution is if you beat him. In front of his colleagues.”

“Excellent diagnosis, dr. Herondale.” He wasn’t sure if he could smile wider.

Later in the evening they somehow ended up on their balcony, drinking wine and talking about everything and nothing.

“Naveen is going to want my head for this. But if he survives, I’m willing to deliver it to him on a silver platter.” He mused, taking a deep breath.

“You really believe that?” she looked over at him, curiosity in her eyes.

“No. I don’t know anymore. People change. Ten years ago I was like you. I was dreaming of becoming a great doctor. Certainly this is not what I imagined. But… everything changes.” His voice trailed off. “What about you? What kind of a doctor would you like to be?” he turned his attention back to her. In the dim light he could barely make out the blush that resided her cheeks.

“I want to make a difference in patient care.” She admitted, her cheeks turning an even darker shade of pink.

“You already do.”

“It’s not enough. I found a loophole for one patient. I won’t be able to do that for all of them.” Her face fell a little. “It just seems like the higher I aspire the more I stand to lose.”

“I certainly understand that.” He stood up and went over to the railing. He leaned forward, keeping his wine glass in both his hands, looking at the sea.

“What you saw today… that’s not me. I don’t gamble. I don’t take that kind of risks. I always calculate the outcome. That game… it was reckless. _I was reckless_. I could have lost everything.” He began to ramble.

“But you were right. Your risk paid off.” She smiled softly at his unnerved state, moving to stand next to him. He places his wine glass on the floor next to the pillar carefully.

“It did… and I’m starting to realize…” he turned towards her. “There are some things that are worth _any_ risk.”

Their eyes met in the dim light. She reached over and places her palm on his cheek, his stubble tickling her hand softly.

“Claire, I…”

“I know.”

He felt his eyes close, leaning into her touch. A moment has passed, neither saying anything. Then his eyes opened and he felt something in him break. A dam broke open and there was no going back.

One move, one strong and confident move, and she was in his arms, closer than ever before, his arm firmly around her waist.

He presses their lips together hungrily, kissing her long and hard.

“Dr. Ramsey, you’re…” she smiled at him, her eyes soft, breaking the kiss for a second to catch her breath.

“Ethan.” He insisted, his voice vulnerable.

“_Ethan…_ I’ve been waiting for this.” She whispered. A shiver ran down his spine at the sound of his name falling from her lips.

“So have I” he smiled, looking in her eyes.

He pulled her back to him, pouring all his pent-up feelings into the kiss. She opened her mouth for him, deepening the kiss, her fingers wandered to his chest to undo the buttons of his shirt delicately.

His hands were free, _he felt free_. He allowed himself to explore her body, running his hands along her curves while her hands tangled in his hair, pulling on it gently, drawing a strangled moan from him.

Her hand moved underneath his shirt, her fingers tracing his muscles there delicately. His own hands get more confident, moving even more freely, lingering on every part of her body he can reach.

“What if somebody sees us?” he breaks the kiss for a second, concern haunting his mind.

“I don’t care.” She breathed, pushing him back against the railing, pinning him in place. Their eyes met, same emotions in both. “_Let them see_.”

Her kisses return to his lips, hungrier and more desperate than before. His arms circle her waist again, pushing her against him, hanging on to her for dear life.

He bites her lower lip, tugging on it, a soft moan escaping her.

They come up for air, their foreheads touching but their hands never leaving each other’s bodies.

Suddenly, he kneels in front of her, his hands descending slowly along her body before stopping on her ankles. His fingers grabbed the hem of her dress and began trailing his hands back up her body, raising the material along with it. Leaning forward, he placed his lips on every newly exposed skin, nipping, sucking and kissing up her legs, slowly coming back to her lips.

Their lips connected again, her dress hiked around her waist, his hands resting on her backside confidently, pressing their hips together.

“Claire…” he moaned, kissing her desperate and ravenous, letting all his longing out. She moaned louder, tugging on his hair harder, pulling him closer.

He breaks the kiss again, breathing heavily, staring into her eyes, his hand caressing her cheek delicately. His face was a picture of wonder, lust and pain.

She noticed. _Of course she did_. She placed her hand on his chest, right over his heart. Without doubt she could feel his racing heart. Then she took his own hand and placed it on her chest, letting him feel her heartbeat, racing just as fast as his. He spread his fingers, her body warm beneath them.

“You… feel amazing.” He said, his voice low and quiet, full of want.

“Wait ‘til you feel the rest of me.” She teased him, grinding her hips into his. He groaned loudly, unable to stop himself.

She shivered, a cold breeze flowing over them.

“Let’s get you inside.” He murmured, his cheeks slightly pink, running his hands up and down her arms to warm her up. She took his hand in hers, lacing their fingers together and pulling him back towards their room.

He let her hand go, lingering by the door, watching her. She sat down at he edge od the bed, looking back at him, an inviting expression on her face.

He couldn’t move. A moment, _a second_ away from her, away from the heat of her body, her hands not on him, it gave his mind a chance to see what he was doing. He just went against _all _of his rules. Everything he ever believed in, all he’s ever worked for flew out the window the second she looked at him.

_He wanted it. And he would do it again. In a heartbeat._

“Ethan?” she spoke up, her voice small and uncertain.

“We… can’t. We can’t go further. We’ve already crossed a line.” It pained him, a physical pain, like someone just slashed his heart with a knife and chopped it into million pieces.

“Did I do something wrong?” she was hurt. _He hurt her. _

“Of course not, not in the slightest. You… No, I did. I shouldn’t have let this happen. And it can’t happen again.” He was dying. He was sure he would fall to the ground any second, blood flowing from his heart that couldn’t handle this kind of torture. But he had to. He cared about her too much not to.

“What? Why not?”

“I’m an attending, and you’re an intern. You’re in the running to join my team. I’d be your boss…”

“So?”

“It’s unethical. And it’s complicated.” He knew something about it. From his own experience.

“Ethan…” his heart clenched at the sound of his name falling from her lips. He never heard anything more perfect, it sounded so good, _so right_. “No one would have to know.”

“We would know, Clarissa. We would know. I need to be able to push you to your limits. To help you become the doctor you want to be. The one I _know you can be._ I can’t do that if I…” he hesitated, his breath catching in his throat.

“If you… what?”

_If I let myself love you. _

He shook his head, anger rising in his chest. Resenting himself for making them_ both_ go through it.

“I’m sorry. I should have stopped myself before…” _I have to stop before I take you as my equal and never let you go. _“We should call it a night. You can take the bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” He turned his back to her, going towards the other side of the room.

“Ethan!” she called out after him again, her voice desperate.

He closed the door between them and let his head rest on it. His heart clenched, pain taking over his whole body.

He would have never thought that a woman could make him _so weak and so strong_ at the same time.

He knew what he had to do. No matter how much it hurt, how much he wanted to go up to her and kiss her, press her body between his and the wall, have his way with her for everyone to hear, he knew that he had to let her go. At least for now.

Until he was sure their feelings were not going to jeopardize her career and his, he would keep his distance.

_How hard could it be, right?_


End file.
